Proud Dad

Journal and pen

I was such a proud dad and so excited the day I held my Lil Jr. in my arms for the first time. My name is Terence Andre’ Fowler, Sr. My friends call me Taffe and the  young’uns call me Mr. T. I am originally from Georgia and live in Central Brooklyn. I am a musician and a computer technician and love to remodel rooms in my spare time. I like to consider myself a jack of all trades and a master of none. I have always been a hardworking family man with strong family values.

Never in a million years, did I think that I would be faced with finding out that my Junior liked boys. I could not understand that he didn’t like girls. I am a man who loves women. I believe that men should chase women, you know! I expected that my son would follow in my footsteps. He too has a passion for music and is quite talented. I didn’t see any signs of him being gay. I guess that’s not always the case. As I look back, he wasn’t hugely into a lot of sports, but I figured that was because we spent a lot of time in the studio. In 2001, Jr. was 17 and we were at our family reunion and his grandmother found his diary. In it he wrote about his feelings for, and his attraction to, a boy. It bothered me tremendously; all of the dreams I had for him were crushed. I was confused, embarrassed, hurt, and I feared for his safety. Despite our closeness, I stopped talking to him and didn’t deal with him. I refused to accept that he was gay. Period.

It wasn’t until my brother lost his son due to a tragic accident that I realized I was being unreasonable about my son. I also remembered how I felt not having my dad in my life, which made me reconsider my feelings. I would rather have a relationship with him than lose him over my lack of understanding of him being gay. He is a successful physical therapist and performing artist. There are no conditions when it comes to me loving him and if anyone messes with him I would run to protect him. Although I continue to struggle with him being gay, I am going to call him and let him know how sorry I am for not being there for him.